Thursday, December 18, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
A Jag...
in the Wal*Mart parking lot. I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I had this blog idea before I had ever heard of Twitter.
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Never before...
have I seen a schoolbus driving backwards thru a red light on a brick street. But I did the other day.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Who moves...
without bringing a screwdriver, then bangs on the door at 10:00 p.m. when you're sick from a molar extraction and antibiotics to borrow one? My new Chinese neighbors, that's who...
This man must be stopped!
He pulled my teeth, so now I can't blow the bubbles while I chew the gum while I drive the taxi! Now my mouth is packed with gauze...
Monday, August 18, 2008
Close, but no cigar...
Spotted at the Feast of the Assumption: motorcycle with a BGMTR license plate.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
What's this world coming to?
I did a search on Mark Eitzel videos and got an ad inviting me to have "complimentary Lydia Lunch ringtones" sent to my cell. Huh?
Friday, July 25, 2008
Fun with Misplaced Modifiers
I was driving down Mayfield Road the other day, listening to NPR, when I nearly broke out in hysterics (a rare occurrence since "Fresh Air" hasn't featured Albert Brooks much lately), when the announcer announced that (wait a minute, I'm going to have to go somewhere to copy and paste this...) Radovan Karadžić had been arrested.
That, in itself, is not especially funny, but she went on to say that he had altered his appearance and had been practicing alternative medicine, and had even written articles for "Healthy Living Under an Assumed Name." Well, that's what I heard.
That magazine probably doesn't have many subscribers, for obvious reasons. OR, maybe
what she said was he had written articles for "Healthy Living," under an assumed name. Tune in next week, when I will ruin even more jokes!
That, in itself, is not especially funny, but she went on to say that he had altered his appearance and had been practicing alternative medicine, and had even written articles for "Healthy Living Under an Assumed Name." Well, that's what I heard.
That magazine probably doesn't have many subscribers, for obvious reasons. OR, maybe
what she said was he had written articles for "Healthy Living," under an assumed name. Tune in next week, when I will ruin even more jokes!
Olympics Preview
As many of you are no doubt aware, for the last several Olympics, new, non-traditional events have been added, including various "extreme" skateboarding events. I have learned from my sources that the Olympics in Beijing will feature the Chinese Firedrill...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
I've been getting a lot of stick lately...
about the shoelaces on my Ponys coming undone, but, hey, I'm like the Minutemen:
I like them loose...
I like them loose...
Monday, July 7, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Friday, June 20, 2008
Weird Dream
Pavement was going to do a reunion tour, but their bassist didn't want to do it,
so they had a TV show to look for a replacement, like INXS, and Gary Young was
the emcee, and Spiral Stairs, Steve Malkmus, and Bob Nastanovich sat at the
judging table. The show was called "American Ibold."
so they had a TV show to look for a replacement, like INXS, and Gary Young was
the emcee, and Spiral Stairs, Steve Malkmus, and Bob Nastanovich sat at the
judging table. The show was called "American Ibold."
Friday, June 13, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Blasting from the driveway...
of the anti-abortion house on my block yesterday was "You Can't Hurry Love" by The Supremes. It should have been "Lovechild."
A horse...
without a rider is still a horse, but a rider without a horse is just someone who dresses funny.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Imagine another planet's...
equivalent of the banana split. This thought disturbs me for some reason.
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Last Friday night...
on the # 9 bus, I saw someone who was either a transvestite, or a very unfortunate woman, who looked like Tracy Morgan in drag.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Saw a license plate...
NEO NUBN, which I'm guessing is a Northeast Ohio Nubian, or someone with a new nubbin.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Guy I saw...
on the bus yesterday had the face of a former prizefighter, and the brain of a prizefight loser...
Monday, April 21, 2008
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Walking across the parking lot...
on the way in to work this morning, I saw a man and a woman, each talking on their cellphones and pacing in front of the store that I work at. A stunning example of the cellpacing phenomenon.
Yesterday on the bus...
I went to sit in the back, and scattered back there were two people in Burger King gear, and one in an Arby's uniform. I felt as though I had penetrated a special fast food enclave.
I thought that...
no one was going to be reading this. But I found out that they are. Now I have to rethink things.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
The crazy dude on Starkweather said...
my stereo cabinet turned upside down is an exact replica of the Ford Theatre!
Friday, April 18, 2008
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