Hey, Drummers of the World!

How about when you're done playing, you flip the switch on your snare drum so that it doesn't rattle and buzz all night?

International Women's Day

was yesterday. One TV network commemorated it by showing a Hooters beach sports tournament.

Even though Commander Ray once said

"Spare change? What is spare change?" I will sometimes give out a few quarters to panhandlers if they ask nicely enough. One rule of thumb, though: I never give them anything if their shoes are in better condition than mine.

Winter haiku for Waldo

shoveling the walk,
salting it too, is a law
that is unenforced...

Every time I go to the library

and look at the DVDs, I see "The Good German" and "The Good Shepherd," but never "The Good German Shepherd."

Good weather

for spotting women wearing boots. I feel like Popeye Doyle...

I've been wondering

why I've been feeling weird all day, and I just remembered: Vincent Gallo is in town!

I just got a haircut

at a frog-themed barber shop.

Computer Help Available Every Day

If you need help in learning how to talk out loud while computing, whether on the phone, to a friend or stranger in person, or just to yourself, come to the Dennis G. Fedor Computer Center at Madison Public Library in Lakewood, Ohio, any day. Also available: lessons in chewing absurdly loudly and lessons in having only the vaguest understanding of personal space.

Amblyopia...

and eyeliner is not a good look.

The best movie

I've inexplicably never seen all the way through? Probably "Thunderbolt and Lightfoot." Jeff Bridges in "Thunderbolt & Lightfoot" set a bar for absurdist acting that Gary Busey subsequently limbo'd under then broke in half...Oh, and Gary Busey is in it, as is Jack "Howard Sprague" Dodson. Written by Michael Cimino, but feels as though it was plotted by Richard Stark using a deck of Oblique Strategies cards... http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oblique_Strategies (I know they came later.)

Time takes a cigarette...

Been sick this week. Held it together to go into the studio on Saturday and Sunday. Time, which usually appears to me to be an orderly progression of minutes and hours, has seemed to be more like spongecake.

I kind of like

Steven Slater. He looks like Paul Lynde crossed with Race Bannon.

I feel

Claritin-clear and Zestfully clean.

"Put it on vibrate."

I kind of relate to this tune. I hope that I don't have to totally relate to it.

"Don't drink and drive"

goes without saying, but why don't people warn you not to drink and parallel park?

Upon further refraction...

sometimes I just read through things too quickly, such as this article on Corning:

"An ultra-strong glass that has been looking for a purpose since its invention in 1962 is poised to become a multibillion-dollar bonanza for Corning Inc.

The 159-year-old glass pioneer is ramping up production of what it calls Gorilla glass, expecting it to be the hot new face of touch-screen tablets and high-end TVs.

Gorilla showed early promise in the '60s, but failed to find a commercial use, so it's been biding its time in a hilltop research lab for almost a half-century."

I swear I read that as "a hillbilly research lab"...

Ambiguity

Spray-painted on some steps in my neighborhood: "I love Math," or, possibly, "I love Meth." Probably "Math," as I saw some stand-alone Math tags on my return walk.

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A friend of mine once received a hand-printed letter from the writer Randy Russell, saying that he got a job at a restaurant, but he couldn't tell whether it was a Ukrainian restaurant or a vegetarian restaurant.

When you're sick

Get plenty of writs and spill plenty of fluids...

Roll Out

the barrel, we've got the blues on the run. (Red Ball, not Red Bull.)