It's...

the last night of Summer: the rats will eat well tonight...

Who moves...

without bringing a screwdriver, then bangs on the door at 10:00 p.m. when you're sick from a molar extraction and antibiotics to borrow one? My new Chinese neighbors, that's who...

This man must be stopped!

He pulled my teeth, so now I can't blow the bubbles while I chew the gum while I drive the taxi! Now my mouth is packed with gauze...

Close, but no cigar...

Spotted at the Feast of the Assumption: motorcycle with a BGMTR license plate.

What's this world coming to?

I did a search on Mark Eitzel videos and got an ad inviting me to have "complimentary Lydia Lunch ringtones" sent to my cell. Huh?

Fun with Misplaced Modifiers

I was driving down Mayfield Road the other day, listening to NPR, when I nearly broke out in hysterics (a rare occurrence since "Fresh Air" hasn't featured Albert Brooks much lately), when the announcer announced that (wait a minute, I'm going to have to go somewhere to copy and paste this...) Radovan Karadžić had been arrested.
That, in itself, is not especially funny, but she went on to say that he had altered his appearance and had been practicing alternative medicine, and had even written articles for "Healthy Living Under an Assumed Name." Well, that's what I heard.
That magazine probably doesn't have many subscribers, for obvious reasons. OR, maybe
what she said was he had written articles for "Healthy Living," under an assumed name. Tune in next week, when I will ruin even more jokes!

Olympics Preview

As many of you are no doubt aware, for the last several Olympics, new, non-traditional events have been added, including various "extreme" skateboarding events. I have learned from my sources that the Olympics in Beijing will feature the Chinese Firedrill...